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I'm Hot
Written by: Darksider
2:01 AM - February 26, 2010

*Originally written 1/14/06 09:46 pm

Ka: FL in 3 weeks!
Me: oh yeah?
Me: wihtout me?
Ka: yeah
Ka: thanks for making me feel bad now, pooper!
Me: vacation huh?
Me: bad? hell, I'd leave me behind too if I could
Me: lol
Ka: hah, you and your dual personality
Me: lol
Me: two mes would be HOT
Ka: together???????
Me: even better
Ka: just the two of you??? ew
Me: sure why not? it wouldnt be gay
Me: lol
Ka: ha!
Ka: no, it'd be incest.lol
Me: that's better than gay
Me:lmao
Ka: i was gonna saw "worse"
Me: depends on how hot you are
Me: hehehe


Cover Letter for a Friend
Written by: Darksider
2:00 AM - February 26, 2010

*Originally written 2/2/06 10:19 pm

My friend asked me for advice on a cover letter, so I wrote this (off the top of my head):

Hello dear sir or madam or transvestite,

My name is Jamie, and I am into cross dressing, watersports, and Sato-masicism. As you can see from my resume, I have extensive experience in the field of porn, and can readily perform. I'm also a fast learner and am eager to share my skills with your fine establishment. I look forward to meeting with you to disguss any positions you may have for me.

Cincerely,
Jamie


Strange how the brain works.
Written by: Darksider
1:57 AM - February 26, 2010

*originally written 1/13/09 08:52 pm

Tonight I sat in the dark and watched The Dark Knight on my computer (my 20“ Apple Cinema Display looks crispy in the dark), and totally enjoyed it. Altho I think all those morons out there painting their face and taking pictures of them selves really ought to do it right and literally cut their mouths wider if they’re going to ask, ”Why so serious?“.

So after the movie was over, I left the lights off and watched another episode of Metalocalypse. Such a fuckin funny show. About half way through, I had this micro thought which turned into a micro instant image flash in my brain. It was about a tenth of a second long and left a residual thought that clarified into reality. so of course, I must reflect upon that.

Now, in my old apartment, my computer table was against the middle wall of the place, with the entry way to the kitchen just off to my left along the same wall. In this place, the table is against the far wall with the kitchen behind me. While watching Toki Wartooth go for guitar lessons, and William Murderface showing Nathan Explosion and Skwizgar Skwizelf how to be a dick, I first got this millisecond impulse to go into the kitchen and get a bite to eat and a drink. Mind you, it’s almost pitchblack dark, and the wall behind the monitor is totally unseeable. FOr that split second, I actually turned my head to look into the kitchen, and as past automaton memory flashed into vision, I saw for the smallest of seconds, the outline of the old kitchen doorway with the table and food shelf behind it. Then as reality slipped back into position, that outline turned into the outline of the window on the wall behind the monitor. It took me just another half a second for my brain to register that I wasn’t in the old apartment, and infact in my new place. I say new as a frame of reference, as I’ve been living here for just over three months.

I find it fascinating how my brain instantly reverted back to that apartment for a moment and then flashed back to reality in an instant. Kind of spooky, but in a rad way.


IT'S A BOMB!!!! AAAAAAGH!
Written by: Darksider
1:55 AM - February 26, 2010

*originally written 8/26/09 03:44 pm

OK, so, we leave the movie last night and decide to goto Chilis. We walk out the front to the restaurants and see that Chilis is closed... at 10 to 7... wtf? We decide on Outback. So we're walking to Outback, we see EBX is closed... at 10 to 7... wtf? We notice that all these people are standing on the sidewalk outside the door.

On the way to Outback I say "Dude, there's a bomb!"

We start laughing and keep walking. We get to Outback and they seat us, and the waiter is telling someone "There's been a bomb threat, they are evacuating the mall." so of course, we sit down to order our steak. A few minutes later, the waiter comes over and says, "As you heard a moment ago, they're evacuating the mall, We're not sure if we'll be able to make your food if they kick us out. so we decide to leave.

As we're walking out, we notice again, that all the people are standing on the sidewalk outside the door. I say, "wtf is that? Because the sidewalk is safe from shrapnel and flying debris!" We're making jokes all the way back to the car. I freaked out Tom and make us take the elevator down. Then I described (with visual) us getting blown up in the elevator.

So we get to the garage floor and step out, and there are 4 cops and a security guard by the door. They let us walk RIGHT through out into the garage... where there's a firetruck and smoke and a burnt car. It wasn't a bomb. it was a car fire! So I say, CEEJ! Your Car!

One of the cops came out and asked us what was up. He was nice (altho they just let us out into the scene). We told him we parked right int his area, then spotted C.J.s car. The cops were cool. A different security guard came over and yelled at us to get out, while we were talking to the cop! It was classic. So we got into C.J.s car and waited in line for a good 10-15 minutes in the garage with a car fire. Awesome evacuation. lmao

Off to a different outback for 22oz. Porterhouse with gerlic mashed and greenbeans :-)


Mattress Woes
Written by: Darksider
12:47 AM - February 19, 2010

When I moved back to New Jersey, I inherited the queen size bed that was once my mom's, but was rarely used, as she switched to a smaller bed. So essentially, I essentially got a brand new bed. I've been sleeping on it for 8 years now and it's been one of the primary causes of my body troubles. Particularly, my hips. The problem is, mom liked her bed to be firm. She even went so far as to put a sheet of plywood under her old mattress to firm it up. This new mattress is very firm and doesn't let my body settle in enough, so over the years my hips have become annoyed. Now I feel pain in them most of the time and it's become an alarming thing.

But I have a solution. Today I ordered a 2 inch thick queen size memory foam mattress topper. This came about from doing some research online and at the stores and such. This also came about when last night I laid down to goto bed and my hip started hurting and it kept me from falling asleep.

Which brings me to my temporary solution. My Sak! My sak is convertable. It is actually the size of a queen size bed when laid out flat. My sak is a little lumpy, but quite comfortable once you play with it a while. My sak is very comfortable when lounging and watching TV. So last night, I unwrapped my sak and laid it out on my bed and tried, rather unsuccessfully, to smooth out the lumps. Holy crap, my sak is effin heavy! It's a giant sak. I almost knocked the mirror off the wall while trying to move my unwrapped sak into the bedroom. I actually slept rather well despite the fact that I was sleeping on my sak and it made my body lean to one side.

I'll be sleeping on my sak for the next 5 to 10 business days while I await my mattress topper, at which time I will wrap my sak back up and put it back where it belongs.


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